DEAR HARRIET: I feel like the ultimate broken record, complaining about the same things over and over but not making significant changes.
I have been married for a long time and I am not happy. My husband is a “nice” man and everyone loves him, but honestly he is not very nice to me. We barely talk. When we do, he often scolds me about every little thing and then pretends I’m too sensitive.
I don’t want to keep living like this, but I also believe in marriage and don’t want to be the girl who gave up.
How can I get him to be nicer to me?
Need refreshment
DEAR NEED A REFRESHMENT: Have you tried therapy? You can learn some ways to better communicate your needs and desires by enlisting a professional to help you. If you can let your husband go, so much the better!
You say your husband is not “nice” to you. What does that mean? Be specific with your complaints so that when you address your husband (and your therapist), you can illustrate exactly what’s bothering you. If you’re vague, you’ll never get your point across.
DEAR HARRIET: It’s somewhat frightening how many people I know who have serious medical problems.
I came on a remote job this week and learned that a woman I hadn’t seen in a few months was away due to open heart surgery after a heart attack. A male friend of mine is recovering from a stroke. Yet another man I haven’t seen in several years just told me he had a heart attack a few months ago. OMG! Two of these people turned out to be the epitome of health.
I’m afraid to go to the doctor for fear of what they might find about me. I’m somewhat healthy, but I don’t have the best habits. If I get sick, I can’t afford to do anything about it anyway. I work freelance.
Am I crazy to say I’ll just see what happens? I really can’t afford to deal with a major health issue when it arises.
Head in the sand
DEAR HEAD IN THE SAND: The No. 1 reason people go bankrupt in this country is a health crisis. This even applies to people who are well insured. The cost of being sick is astronomical, so it’s totally understandable that you’d rather not find out if there’s something wrong with you.
That said, I don’t advise you to ignore your health. The US healthcare system is excellent at diagnostics – at figuring out what is wrong with a patient. I strongly advise you to use this to your advantage. Problems caught early are generally much less expensive than problems that are advanced.
Go for your annual checkups. Get the tests that will tell you if there’s a problem on the horizon. Then do everything you can to stay healthy. Eat wisely. Exercise regularly. Get plenty of rest.
These sound simple because they are, but most people don’t follow them very well. Be proactive about maintaining good health and do your research to discover alternative methods of boosting your immune system.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people achieve and activate their dreams. Inquiries may be sent to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
