DEAR HARRIET: I work for a freelancer who has many clients. One of these clients recently offered me a job, separate from the work I do for my current boss.
The pay would be higher than what I earn now. My boss has talked about how difficult the customer can be.
I doubt whether or not it would be considered a betrayal of my current boss if I took the job offer. I feel that taking the job could create tension between us, and I hoped to remain friends with my boss after I left.
I also don’t really feel like dealing with a difficult employer as I’ve seen my boss struggle first hand with this person.
What should my next step be?
conflicted
BEST CONFLICT: Beware of the customer trying to extort an employee. Unless this client spoke to your boss and asked for their permission to hire you, it would be considered an ethical violation if they tried to steal you from your current job. Your boss would probably feel betrayed and your relationship would definitely suffer.
If this potential new employer sees nothing wrong with that, what can you expect from how they might treat you?
If you really want the job, you need to talk to your boss and deal your cards. Reveal that this person offered you a job with a much higher salary and get your boss’s opinion. Involving your boss as a confidant will help you understand this person better and show that you value your boss’s opinion.
Ultimately, you have to make your own decision, but nothing you’ve said about this potential new employer sounds promising except for the money. In my book money is not enough.
DEAR HARRIET: I worked with a woman over 10 years ago. We loved each other very much, but we didn’t really keep in touch.
I saw on social media that her husband had passed away. I remember how close they were. I’m sure she’s devastated.
I want to contact her but the only way I know how to get in touch with her is through social media. Is that insensitive in a time like this? I want to send her a message. Other people have written on her timeline, but I imagine they have closer contact with her than I do.
Do you think it would be good to wish her well through this somewhat impersonal means of communication? I’m old fashioned and would like to send a card but I don’t know where to send it.
Express condolences
BEST CONDOLENCES: Yes, you can send a message on social media. You can write something simple and sincere in the thread where others are writing.
You can also send a separate message in the main feed, or use the direct message feature to send her a note that only she can see. In a direct message, you can add that you want to send her a good card if she shares her address with you. Don’t make that request in the public feed because you want to protect her privacy.
If she gets a lot of messages, she may not see yours at first. Be patient.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people achieve and activate their dreams. Inquiries may be sent to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
