DEAR ABBY: I have a new job in a small office. I’ve never felt comfortable meeting new people or learning a new job, so to appear friendly, I agree to the office calls.
A few times I have revealed too much of my life. I later found out that the owner is taking up the office. Everyone knew about it, but I was never made aware of it.
Now I am more ashamed than ever knowing that my information is now registered. Since then I have learned to censor myself.
Abby, is it common and legal practice for employers to wiretap offices?
BIG MOUTH IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BIG MOUTH: It is best to ask this question to a lawyer specialized in employment law. In several states, it is illegal for an employer to record conversations without first informing all parties involved. You should have been advised at the time you were hired that this was company policy.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for five years and have two children. I put my hands on her in such a bad way that she says we are not family anymore and she wants a divorce.
I need my wife and children back. It hurts me to stay away.
I currently attend church and Sunday school and bible study. I’ve prayed for many hours over the past few weeks and it’s helping me.
I will do everything I can to get my family back because I don’t want to lose them. What can I do to get them back?
LEARNING A LESSON IN NEVADA
DEAR TEACH: A good first step would be to gain some insight into what triggers you to act violently.
Was physical abuse an example set by your parents? Is it because you have a substance abuse problem? An anger management course can help you break this destructive pattern. Search online for a course near you.
After that, if your wife sees that you are making a genuine effort, she may trust you enough to take the risk of being reunited. A word of warning though: don’t pressure her. This will have to be her decision.
DEAR ABBY: I’m friends with three people who got into a fight. One of them has stopped talking to the other two.
I have remained friends with all three and have said I want to remain neutral. I wasn’t there when the fight happened, and I don’t want to be involved.
A friend says that because I’m still friends with the other two, I take their side and approve of how they treated her. I haven’t seen the fighting and I don’t condone anyone’s behavior. That one friend is no longer friends with me.
I would like to be friends with everyone. Is this person right that I approve of the other two’s actions by keeping quiet and continuing my friendship with them?
STAYING OUT IN MONTANA
BEST STAY OUTSIDE: No she isn’t. What she’s doing is trying to manipulate you. Repeat what you told her, and tell her that if she can’t accept that you want to remain neutral, she will have lost another friend.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact DearAbby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
