DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my husband, unhappy in his job, decided he wanted to be a real estate agent.
He quit his job to work full-time in real estate, and he really struggled. The company he came to work for offered little training and he had no office skills. The dramatic drop in our income nearly bankrupted us.
He asked me to also get a permit to help out (I have a great office job). I didn’t want to at first because I knew I would end up doing almost all the work, but I did it anyway.
Shortly after I got my license, he was offered a job at his previous company. It was a blessing and he accepted it.
I continued to sell real estate alongside my job and was very successful. I think it’s due to my 20 years of office management experience and social media skills. Although I am an introvert, I am a hard worker and my business is growing. People look up to me.
Abby, my husband is jealous. When I sell a house, he pouts, acts depressed, or picks a fight. He hates going to business dinners or trainings with our company, and if I go without him, he barely talks to me the next day.
Sometimes he gets excited and tells how to sell some houses. When he does, I encourage him and tell him how good he is at working with people – but in the end he does nothing to make it happen.
I really enjoy real estate. I love getting out and showing houses and networking with other real estate agents, and the extra income has really helped. I don’t know what to do.
PAY THE PRICE OF SUCCESS
BEST PAYING: Your husband may be jealous because you surpassed him in his (day) dream job. Or maybe he’s punishing you for fear of becoming so successful that you might want your independence.
Go ahead and do it not allow his behavior to belittle you. Nothing you have described is healthy for the future of your marriage.
I hope a licensed marriage and family therapist can help you navigate through this difficult time. Please don’t put it off. Without counseling, the status quo is unlikely to change.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who doesn’t drive and constantly asks me to take her place. As a good friend, I do.
When I take her to an event, we agree on a time to leave, but she invariably stays behind 30 or 45 minutes after the agreed time to chat with other people. Plus, she never offers anything for fuel.
I think she’s being inconsiderate, and I’m thinking of telling her to find her own rides. Am I wrong for this?
ABOUT IT IN NEW JERSEY
THEREBY: No, you’re not wrong, but the next time it happens, try this: tell your close friend that you’re leaving the event at a certain time and that if she wants to keep chatting, she’ll have to find another ride home. That way you won’t be inconvenienced.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
