DEAR ABBY: I’ve lived in New York all my life. I moved to Florida a year ago because of my health and to be close to my daughter and granddaughters.
I’ve been depressed since I got here. I miss New York and my best friend very much. I can not sleep. I sit and cry and I have no motivation to do anything.
My daughter has been great to me, but when I try to talk to my husband about how I feel, he doesn’t care. He screams and walks away.
I’m so confused. I feel like I can’t go on. Can you give me any advice?
MOVED IN THE SOUTH
BEST RECEIVED: Your reason for moving to Florida was a rational one. However, feelings are not always rational. Your move has put you in a situation where the environment is unfamiliar and your support system (your best friend) is no longer there for you.
The symptoms you describe are those of deep depression. Don’t let it become chronic. Some sessions with a licensed mental health counselor can help you adjust to your new circumstances so you can explore your options for more social interaction.
PS I wish you had asked me about the wisdom of moving before you did as I would have advised you to rent for a year to make sure you would be happy in Florida before making it permanent.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for six years. The problem is his sister and the emotional hold she seems to have on him. There have been several instances where she has been disrespectful and pushy with regard to our company.
When I object to it to my husband, he either replies that he’s sorry or that he pretends he doesn’t understand why I find her behavior intrusive.
When he talks to her on the phone, it’s as if he feels compelled to tell her about our business — that is, financial status — which I’ve repeatedly told him is none of her business. He says he agrees with me, but recently he did it again.
He pretends to be afraid of her, like she has some kind of emotional hold on him.
I’m about to blow up a gasket. I want to revisit the subject in a way that he will finally understand my point of view and not be so eager to share everything that is going on in our house. Any ideas?
PRIVATE PERSON IN ILLINOIS
BEST PRIVATE: You and your husband grew up in two different kinds of families. His is more open; yours, not so much.
I would like to know if your husband is voluntarily disclosing this financial information, or if his sister is questioning him about it.
Since you are uncomfortable with this and have asked your husband not to do this, professional mediation may be necessary to get through to him. Please think about it.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact DearAbby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
