Monday, September 25, 2023
HomeNewsIs it fair that my wife decided that we won't have kids?

Is it fair that my wife decided that we won’t have kids?

Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for 13 years. We both recently turned 40.

Before she got married, she had always said she wanted to have two children. I wanted that too!

We’ve put this off for a few years to get in a good financial position.

Her younger sister had two children and the inevitable questions started flying about when we would have children. It was mostly a question I considered rude, so I didn’t answer it.

Over the years my wife has gone from saying “We have dogs” to “We don’t want kids” without ever having a conversation between us about it because she regularly avoided that talk.

In more recent times she has told others that we don’t have kids because I don’t want them, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

She is now convinced she is too old to have children, and bringing up the idea of ​​adoption is mocked as she believes these children are “trouble.” She has said extremely derogatory things about adoption.

This has created a huge rift in our marriage, and I don’t know if it can be fixed because she is unwilling to go to couples counseling, meet with adoption agencies to actually get factual information, or discuss it.

Am I unreasonable to think that her shift in thinking, without talking about it, is unfair to me?

Childless husband

Dear Husband: First, to address your wife’s attitude towards children available for adoption: she is wrong.

She clearly doesn’t want to be a parent. She may throw up all kinds of false roadblocks on the path to parenthood, but the answer is clear.

Check Out:  Ranking top 2023 Pac-12 recruits as 2026 NFL Draft prospects

Your wife refuses to address deeper issues, try to resolve them, or even discuss them with you.

This is an extremely important and primary issue. How this is resolved will affect the rest of your life in profound ways.

I strongly recommend that you find a counselor yourself. It will be challenging and very helpful to go through your history and reveal your deep feelings about it with a neutral and compassionate person.

Single men can raise and adopt children. This is legal across the country, and while it’s still relatively rare (compared to single women adopting), if your marriage is collapsing at this point, I suggest you consider adoption.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

Most Popular

Recent Comments