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I let a petty thing kill my crush, and I feel terrible

Dear Amy: I have met some friends online especially since COVID. One of these friends is a guy I was attracted to.

He makes me laugh, he’s nice, and I have a really good time talking to him. Although we had been friends for almost a year, our communication was only through text messages. He had seen pictures of me; I had no idea what he looked like.

I don’t consider myself a superficial person. I’ve always believed it’s about the inside that counts.

Well, we finally video chatted last night, and I’m not attracted to him at all.

I tried to convince myself that the lack of attraction wasn’t a problem, but I couldn’t.

There’s nothing wrong with the way he looks, he’s just a lot older than I thought and drastically different than I imagined.

I feel like a horrible person and have been berating myself all day. How dare I suddenly dislike this great guy I used to be close to for such a small reason?

Honestly, I’m also embarrassed for involving my emotions without knowing anything about him.

I don’t want to hurt him, especially since the reason behind it is so petty and would be so damaging if he knew.

Am I a horrible woman?


Dear Prospect: This dynamic is exactly why I push for an in-person (or video meeting) ASAP when people are crushing online.

Start by watching every version of “Cyrano de Bergerac” you can access.

You are not petty, you are not terrible; you are human. (Have you never experienced gentle rejection due to a lack of attraction? This is a common and uncomfortable experience for anyone brave enough to swim in the dating pool.)

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You are already friends with this man. Now that you’re broken up, you should take this relationship back to the friend zone.

Dear Amy: I am nearing the end of high school. My parents ask about my graduation plans.



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